Help...

Today I do not know what ? , Sky and earth seem to make a pact to attack me . I'm not afraid I'm too cowardly or just that this is all too much for me to live . Why did not ever do the right thing even once, why do not you ever do things right once. Such as being forced to eat in the middle bile snowfall , such as eating in the bile rain . I was cold and shivering , like naked in front of crowds . I do not know what else to face this all , as it is very difficult. This life is beautiful ? or apparently so very painful ? . I try to enjoy the rest of my life every since I knew every second of my age is reduced . I try to laugh as much as might cheer sad hearts that continue to this . I do not want to cry because I also want to be happy like others enjoy life in peace . I want to also be able to smile in the midst of my problems come raining , because I also want to be happy like a story in a movie that always end happily . At least there's always an angel in the middle of an enemy that has been blocked , or there is still a source of strength when the bullets hit the inner or at least there is still a little light in the dark world . Thus maybe I can still survive even though I have been stumped like this , if so maybe I can still smile at the incessant crying and if so maybe there's hope for me still happy even though I have thrown . I do not ask for more than what I wanted was not like they were not too satisfied with himself and what he had doomed with him . I just wanted to through my nights with little moonlight files accompany my sleep , I just wish when I fall there is someone who will help me even though I know it is not every time that someone would come to help me . I just wish when I was lonely there that will accompany me to laugh and when I feel hopeless and do not know what to do ? , There are going to show me the right direction so I do not have to regret too deep . God , I want you to know that I was barely able to stand back . God , I want you to know that I was very scared and I do not know why. I was so scared , so I did not dare look at the future . God help me , help me .